


And I'm Drowning In Regret

by orphan_account



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bottom Lucius Malfoy, Community Service, Cooking, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Smut, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Lucius Malfoy-centric, M/M, Nightmares, POV Alternating, Sirius Black's Flying Motorbike, Top Sirius Black, Treat at end, only at the end, slowburn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-09
Updated: 2019-07-09
Packaged: 2020-06-25 12:10:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19745500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Rather than being sent to Azkaban, Lucius Malfoy has to do community service. Sirius Black is assigned his partner. Lucius is not pleased.





	And I'm Drowning In Regret

**Author's Note:**

> Is this fic a hotmess? Yes. I have never wrote such a long fic and am nervous that it seems too...I don't know, bad? (I felt bad for my beta.) It takes a long while to get to any 'action.'
> 
> I love this ship.
> 
> Prompt 112:  
> As Community Service, a Malfoy has to work with someone after the war to repair the damage done in the wizarding community. Community service with their assigned partner turns out to be more than they could have ever anticipated.

Really, community service? Did they intend for Lucius to manually rebuild Hogwarts or write hand letters to every wizarding family harmed? And to make things worse, he was assigned to be under the eye of Sirius Black himself. The heir and lord of the most noble and ancient house of Black. He could not understand why Sirius agreed to chaperone him, most likely to make sure Lucius did what he was supposed to do. He wasn’t ready to be in close proximity to another crazy Black family member. He dealt with enough insanity from Bellatrix herself. Though now, she was deceased. Lucky him.    
  
He walked out of the courtroom with the letter and his signature agreeing he’d do the community service. Oh, how he wanted to drink away his pathetic life. To add salt to the wound, Narcissa had asked for a divorce. He agreed, not wanting to hold the woman in their loveless marriage any longer. They never truly loved each other at any point but gained tolerance and an amicable relationship throughout their time together. Better than what he’d seen between his own parents. Or the many other pureblood arranged marriages. It was just how it was. He couldn’t blame Sirius and Andromeda for escaping the life of a pureblood that was full of lies and restraint. Be perfect, no matter what, even if the house you were in was burning, you couldn’t cough from the smoke lest you’d be deemed weak. Couldn’t leave without being called a traitor, scorned by all who lived in agony.   
  
He’d let her go free, find love elsewhere, be far from the name of Malfoy. Even he wanted to be anything but a Malfoy, not that he’d admit it. He failed, almost lost his son. He was weak and he’d never forgive himself for it. She could finally spend time with her lost sister, Andromeda, or Andy to those close to her. Draco could meet her properly and his cousin. Lucius sighed, then apparated to Diagon Alley, walking until he reached an inn that he had paid a room for.    
  
He wasn’t in the mood to go back to his home. Tainted by the foulness that had occurred there. Even Draco chose to stay in a summer home in Manchester after recent events. He couldn’t blame him either.    
  
Lucius stretched his aching back and started to undress. Tomorrow, he was to meet Sirius at his home. Once in the rented bed, he fought hard to find rest. Nightmares plaguing his mind, blood and evil cheers surrounding him. He could smell the reek of death and burnt flesh. He could taste the iron of blood and sweat. Hear screams, some from the muggleborn witch, Hermione Granger. He yearned for silence, one that didn’t come from doom. But of tranquillity, of knowing monsters weren’t around him and his family, and that he wasn’t one of them.   
  
But he was, he knew it. Deep down, he was rotten. Lucius let silent tears slip down his face, eyes shutting from the knowledge that he played a part in tearing families apart, hurting those who had no choice whether they came from muggles or were ‘pure’. Worst of all, he believed in what Voldemort had supposedly stood for. He was lucky community service was all he got. He knew he deserved to suffer.    
  
The next day, he woke with a start, having dreamt of Draco’s death. He wanted to puke. The eyes of his son’s lifeless eyes staring back at him sent shivers down his spine and a groan escaped him. He wanted to send a letter to see if he was alright. He knew Draco was, but the nagging feeling that they could never be safe again ate at him. Lucius summoned his coat to him and took out a flask of whiskey. Gulping it down, Lucius forced himself to relax and get dressed, he needed to head home to shower and don clean cloth. The clothing he’d brought in his luggage were all dirty.    
  
He didn’t take his time while back at his manor. Rather hurried to get to 12 Grimmauld Place, ironically. He washed up, tied his hair with a ribbon in a ponytail and put on dark grey robes. He didn’t want to stare in the mirror, knowing he’d just see a pitiful version of himself, cheeks sunken in, eyes with bags underneath, hair not as glossy as it usually was. He went to his fireplace and flooed himself to Black’s house as instructed.    
  
He was greeted with yelling, not at him directly.    
  
“Kreacher, you arse! Where did you leave my leather jacket? It was a gift!” Lucius heard from somewhere within the ancestral home. He jumped when Kreacher popped up next to him, offering to take his coat.   
  
“Master, Lord Lucius is here! Kreacher apologises his nasty master is yelling. Mistress would be so displeased,” the house elf said while placing the coat on a rack. Sirius came bursting in with a glare, but he switched to neutrality once he spotted Lucius. He’d have to give the Gryffindor points for casting away his anger in favour of a more diplomatic face.   
  
“You look like shite, Lucius. Have you slept? Most likely not well since Cissy left your arse” Sirius said, grinning. Diplomacy lost in an instant. Not surprising.    
  
If Lucius could, he’d curse the man until he forgot his name and his arrogance. There went Lucius’ hope that Sirius wouldn’t make the situation worse. Sirius never made anyone's life easy but that blasted Potter. Lucius frowned but didn’t respond to the brutish comment. Sirius strode towards him, looking at him up and down. Lucius tried to feign indifference but he felt vulnerable. Sirius had regained his health and appearance after time being declared a free man. He didn’t look like a man eaten away by his time spent in prison but then again, he must have recovered. From what he heard from Severus. When Sirius first was out, he looked like a deranged lunatic, half starved with a crazed look. The ministry wouldn’t let a truly unhinged man watch over another criminal. Even if Potter vouched for him.   
  
“You ready to cook for the homeless?” Sirius asked, confusing Lucius. Cook? Lucius barely knew how to pour himself tea, filling up a glass of alcohol was as far as he ever got. If that counted, he knew it really didn’t.    
  
“No, you buffoon. I have house elves that cook for me. How would I know how to do it myself,” Lucius said, frankly. Really, cooking? Did he want to teach him while at it? Did Sirius even know how to cook? He was raised the same way as Lucius himself. Sirius gave him a hard look, not wavering.    
  
“Fine, practice by making me a sandwich,” Sirius demanded. Lucius stood there in shock.   
  
“Have Kreacher do it,” Lucius declared, giving the man a steely look.   
  
“Didn’t know he was serving time,” Sirius said, raising his chin.   
  
“This is abuse of power,” Lucius scoffed out.    
  
“You would know all about that, now would you? Do you want Kreacher to show you the way to the kitchen? It’s restocked,” Black spoke, not wavering from his command.   
  
Lucius glared at him for a hot second and said no. Sirius grinned while Lucius walked passed him, he was tempted to give him the obscene muggle gesture of sticking his middle figure in his face but thought better of it. Sirius had punched him in the face before. He did not want a repeat of that event.   
  
The kitchen was decently sized and neat, no colourful decorations though. Opening the pantry, he found the ‘ingredients’. He fought the urge to ask Kreacher for help but he didn’t need that rickety elf to help him as if he was a clueless child. Lucius brought out his wand and was about to use a spell before he heard Sirius from right behind him.   
  
“No magic,” he said, making Lucius spin swiftly, almost falling backwards. Sirius caught him by the elbow and steadied him. Lucius was infuriated by the declaration. Was he supposed to do things the muggle way? This was a true insult. Lucius pushed Sirius away, the other barely flinching away.   
  
“Are you daft? Do you think I’ll get my hands dirty like that?”   
  
“You never seemed to mind blood from those you tortured getting your hands dirty,” Black said, cooly. His tone held no mockery nor amusement. Lucius gulped.    
  
“Leave me while I make your Merlin forsaken sandwich,” was all Lucius could get out. Lucius would rather be drinking away his guilt alone in his study. Not here playing the part of a house elf. But this was his punishment he deserved though better than being at Azkaban. Unlike Sirius who served time for a crime he never committed, it was injustice for the man to have his name sullied and decade taken away from him when Luicus had lied to stay free at the time.    
  
Once he was done with the meal, he took a quick swing of his hidden flask. He left the kitchen carrying the plate and went searching for Black. He wasn’t in the sitting room and he doubted he'd be in his room. He looked towards the study he knew all Lords occupied. He’d seen Orion in there before. Knocking on the door, he heard Black telling him to enter and so he did. The room was lit well by several candles, bookshelves filled to the brim, though there was dust to them. A dark green carpet laid on the floor, surprising Lucius. He’d have guessed Black would have gotten rid of any green decor that resembled the Slytherin common room in Hogwarts. The man sat behind a dark, mahogany desk, looking at letters with an indifferent look. It was an odd sight, memories of the previous Lord Black flooding his mind. The similarities were there, similar to how Draco reflected a younger him. Even his clothing, neat and posh, with no muggle article on him, made him look almost regal.    
  
Did he know how much he seemed like every bit the Lord his parents wanted him to be? Most likely not, and if Lucius said that aloud, the maniac would potentially hex him. Sirius put down one of his letters and quirked an eyebrow up, giving Lucius a slightly impatient look. Guess his time spent with muggle-borns and Gryffindors didn’t erase who he was beneath it all. Annoying.   
  
“Here’s your damn sandwich, now can we get serious about this?   
  
“I am Sirius.” Sirius declared, lips curling up into a smirk.   
  
Lucius blinked hard. He felt the world stop at that moment. He recalled a time his mother kissed his bruised knee after tripping and his father told her to stop. Saying that Lucius was to grow strong, that the heir of a powerful house did not quiver before pain, did not flinch, did not break. Lucius did all of the above. And in that moment, he wanted to scream out in anguish.    
  
“Fuck you,” Lucius said, placing the plate on the desk before turning around and marching to the fireplace in the sitting room. He flooed out, not paying attention if Sirius demanded him to stay. He was done. He couldn’t do it. Not with Sirius, he’d rather have Molly Weasley herself instruct him to knit a dozen sweaters than be here any longer.    
  
He arrived back at his lifeless Manor, no one here but one house elf he barely spoke to. He went to his library and grabbed a book he’d read several times in the past before. A romance novel he’d never admit being a fan of. It ended in tragedy, though, so the soft romance felt more forgivable. It was one of the few activities he did where he let things truly go. But even that was tainted. He tried to forget Black but in place came the voices again. Bellatrix, Rabastan, Greyback, Voldemort, and his own speaking cruelty.    
  
‘Why are you serving pathetic blood traitors? Mudblood lovers. Coward. Betrayer. Hiding behind the act of compliance but you can’t do it truly. Can you?’ Voldemort whispered in his ear, caressing his flat hair.    
  
‘End my wretched cousin! Curse him until blood spills from his mouth! What are you waiting for?’ Bellatrix screeched, madness in her eyes.   
  
‘Father? Will we make it out alive? Will we be okay? I don’t want to be a Death Eater,’ Draco sobbed, trying so hard to be the best son he could be for Lucius. Hearing his voice was always the worst.    
  
Lucius grabbed his flask of whiskey and shugged down the rest but it wasn’t enough. He got up, not even bothering to ask the elf, Cherri, went to his own study and opened up a cabinet containing his most precious drinks. The type of drink to only take out on rare occasions to impress guests of high regards. Lucius forwent the glass cup near it and took a swing straight from the bottle. Taking it with him, he went back to the library and sat down, picked up the book and read, read until the voices quieted, until he could barely keep drinking. Feeling numb and dizzy. He dropped both book and bottle and passed out.   
  
  


He heard rustling and murmurs. Wanting silence back, Lucius searched for a throw pillow to place over his head. When he’d manage to grab one and shield his ears, it was snatched away.  
  
“Wake up, princess. It’s already noon. You were supposed to arrive in the morning.” Black said, voice irritating Lucius. He felt a headache start up, no doubt from a hangover. which confused him, it was not as if he drank half the bottle. Sirius grabbed said bottle and inspected it.  
  
“Had a party of one? You damn well finished more than half of this,” Sirius said, looking down at Lucius. He looked amused, a smirk playing at his lips. Fuck, maybe he did overdo it.  
  
“How did you enter my house?” Lucius asked, perturbed by this. He’d hope not to experience unwanted guests in his home ever again.   
  
“Our floo is connected? It was done so to make sure you actually did what you were assigned to,” Sirius stated as if Lucius should have known this already. Perhaps he should have, he wasn’t paying full attention in the courtroom, just wanting to hear his final verdict. Wanting to know if he would never see his son again.  
“Ah, yes. Serving the community by providing you with a basic meal your house elf could make in a second, mind you, with magic, unlike me.”  
  
“Kreacher doesn’t add heart to it, probably would add poison, though, if given the chance.”  
  
Lucius tried to resist a snicker but failed. The elf was not fond of Sirius and vice versa, having betrayed Sirius before but given a second chance as punishment. Something Lucius could relate to. Which was pretty damn pathetic if Lucius thought too hard about it.   
  
Lucius stretched his arms, popping his back. He groaned and got up, sidestepping around the other man. He grabbed the bottle of liquor from Black and placed it back in the cabinet. He then left to change into a new outfit. With Sirius far behind Lucius.   
  
“Haven’t been in your place since I was twelve. Might want to take out the bloodstains,” Sirius commented, trying to get on Lucius' nerves. Of course, he’d gotten rid of all repulsive stains, even threw out some furniture, knowing that configuring it into something new would not erase the history. Nothing would, the manor could burn down, and Lucius would still see the horror everywhere. He barely could look in the direction of the Granger witch. How could Bellatrix have taken joy in carving ‘mudblood’ into her forearm? Lucius, even at his worst, wouldn’t have done that. At least, he hoped so. Doubt flooded the man, memories of the first war when he was eager to serve at the start. Recruiting younger Slytherins was different than pure torture and slaughter.   
  
Lucius wavered while climbing up a staircase, partly from the hangover, partly from the intrusive thoughts. Sirius caught him before he tumbled down.   
  
“Slow down, don’t want to hurt yourself, Malf. Doubt anyone at St. Mungos be willing to help an ex Death Eater who fell down his own stairs,” Sirius said, chuckling when the blonde sneered back at him and leapt up the rest of the way.  
  
“Must every word that comes out of your mouth be imbecilic?” Lucius asked, not waiting for an answer. He stormed to his room, locking it and searching his wardrobe for what to wear. He’d had to shrink down most of it since his time out of Azkaban. Not being able to put the weight back on, though, with the end of the war, he knew his chances of regaining his former health grew. Halfway through slipping a new shirt on, he heard Sirius call out to hurry up. Lucius rolled his eyes and ignored him. While Lucius was slipping off his underwear, Sirius chose that moment to somehow bypass his magically locked door.  
  
“I bet you take longer than Ci-” Sirius said, pausing when he realized the blonde was naked from the waist down.  
  
“Get. Out.” Lucius said, uttering the words with absolute hate. He was red in the face while covering up his nether regions.  
  
“My bad, lost my patience. I’ll leave that pale arse of yours alone for now, just finish up,” Sirius spoke, looking like he found a secret stash of goodies in the pantry. Remorseless idiot. Lucius wanted to strangle him. Once he left, Lucius let out a sigh. The fool must be purposely doing this, he thought. Most likely for Lucius to snap and attack him. Get him in trouble so it’d be one less ex-DeathEater on the streets and back behind bars.  
  
After he was dressed, he cast a quick spell that left his hair feeling slightly cleaner, but nothing could compare to a real bath. Not that he’d take one with a crazed Black in the house rudely entering rooms he’d not been given permission to do so. Once again he picked a ribbon, this time a dark purple to hold his hair back, wearing a dark purple vest to match.   
  
Exiting his room, he didn’t see Black waiting out. Never really expected the man to stay in one place. Lucius called for his house elf to ask her where he was.  
  
“In the garden, Master,” she squeaked out, irritating Lucius’ ears.   
  
“Bring me a headache-relieving potion and a glass of water,” he ordered, heading outside to see if the other man was harassing his peacocks. Oddly enough, he spotted the man perched over the rare, albino one, feeding it seeds. That was until it pecked past the hand and onto the forearm, causing Sirius to yelp and drop the treats. Lucius snickered at the scene until Sirius took at his wand, pointing it the creature.  
  
“Black, don’t harm my pets,” Lucius spoke, arms crossed.   
  
“Your cock, wait, I meant peacock was hungry,” Sirius said with a straight face, Lucius knowing full well that he didn’t get the words mixed up. How did this man ever obtain friends? Who would purposely tolerate him?  
  
“You’re a crude man, I pity the years wasted by your parents who tried to teach you decent manners,” Lucius said, shaking his head. Sirius got up and walked towards him, a swagger in his step.   
  
“Time to leave, Malfoy. No more drinking away the day, you got meals to cook,” he said, with a shite eating grin plastered on his stupid face. Lucius would say he was handsome if his personality was tolerable. No wonder Severus still wouldn’t let the past settle, even after both surviving the war and Severus becoming a hero in the community. Potter made sure all his deeds were laid bare, that he was a spy for the Light and almost died saving them all. Lucius was a bit envious of his old friend but glad he was doing better, especially after having been bitten by Nagini.  
  
“I’m not cooking for you, Black. Pick something else,” Lucius stated. Black would have to pick a new chore for him if that was how he was going to play this.  
  
“Not for me, you ditz. For the homeless. Hermione, know her? Was tortured in this big house of yours? Yes? Showed me a place to volunteer to cook meals for those less fortunate. Now stop complaining and get your prissy arse in gear,” the man said cheerfully. He placed a hand on Lucius’ shoulder with an evil grin. Lucius shrugged it off and tried not to let the other get to him.   
  
“If we me-” Lucius started.  
  
“You must, not me,” Black said, interrupting the blonde.  
  
“Fine. If I must, then let’s best get there. It is not as if I have any say in this,” Lucius grumbled.  
  
“You don’t.”   
  
Lucius glowered at Black. Was about to respond when Cherri returned with the potion and water. Gulping both down quickly, he told Sirius to take him to wherever he was meant to be cooking. He hoped it was sanitary and that none of the poor sods would grope at him or beg for money.   
  
When they apparated to Muggle London, Sirius took out a small vehicle he heard muggles call a motorcycle.  
  
“Enchanted this to fly but I’d rather not get in trouble if we get spotted, things have only just calmed down,” Sirius said, getting on the bike.  
  
That was a first, Lucius thought to himself but vocalised, “I’m not getting on that, Black.” Sirius’ shoulders sagged, and he threw his head back, groaning.  
  
“Don’t make this a struggle, princess, get behind me and hold on. You should experience more muggle things in life. It won’t kill you,” he said, whispering ‘hopefully’ under his breath. Lucius had knowledge that muggles get into accidents resulting in lives lost by the vehicles they use. He had been in a car before when making deals with high-class muggles.   
  
Lucius approached the other with caution, lifting one leg over the motorcycle. Settling down was unpleasant, the seat rough and spread his legs too apart. Worst part of it all was knowing he’d have to wrap his arms around the other.  
  
“Trust me when I say this Malfoy but I don't want to be here with you either. This will be one of the highlights of my day. Hopefully, seeing you screw up a soup will be another,” Sirius said, his tone grim. That is until he started up the bike and yanked hard, entering the street. Lucius nearly flew off, reaching around the other’s waist in hopes he would not end up being tossed in front of the other vehicles honking at Black. If Draco, Severus, Narcissa, or anyone else came by and asked how his day went, he’d rather eat shite before admitting he was screaming his lungs off while holding onto the Lord of House Black as if his life depended on it. Which it did with how the man was driving like a maniac. If he died, he’d haunt Black relentlessly. No mercy.   
  
Lucius didn’t take notice that they had stopped until he felt hands unclasp his arms, finally opening his eyes that were screwed shut. Sirius looked at him expectedly. Lucius moved to get off, legs shaky but managed to stand tall. He swept at his clothing, getting rid of any wrinkles.   
  
“You are a piece of absolute shite, I hope you die on that bike one day,” Lucius said, vehemently. He pushed back hair from his face, realizing his ribbon was lost, leaving his hair to flow down. Sirius turned away from him, walking to a building that had a line of people with ruddy clothing trying to gain entry.   
  
“What is this place, Black?” Lucius asked in equal measurement of disgust and unwanted curiosity. He did pity the children who huddled by their mothers and the elder folks most likely having no fortunate family member to take them in.  
  
“Hermione said this place is called a soup kitchen. People looking for a meal they can’t make themselves come here and volunteers cook them, well, soup. Probably because it’s easy on the stomach when you barely eat. Merlin knows I could not hold up much after escaping Azkaban,” Sirius stated, looking at the muggles with pity. Lucius understood the feeling all too well, Azkaban was not easy for him either. He had also lived more than half his life in comfort while these folks most likely had always lived this way and would until fate gave them a chance to rise or until death took them. Lucius ought to be more grateful he lost his reputation and nothing more. But the voice of his father said he should never be grateful for simply being born above others, they were peasants while Malfoys were rulers. Lucius told the voice to shut up, those words were why he is here in the first place.  
  
A young woman with an apron approached the two of them when they entered. She asked what they needed and Sirius said they came to volunteer. She nodded, saying she’d bring over papers for them to read and sign, before giddily skipping away. She soon came back and handed the papers over. Lucius noticed Black was filling up his own which confused Lucius. He’d thought he was only meant to be here cooking while Black just watched over. Sirius noticed Lucius staring at him and shrugged.   
  
“Might as well keep myself occupied and maybe screw with you a bit.” He said, a small grin on his face. The young lady returned and took their forms only to bring back over aprons, weirdly shaped loops, and something she called a hair net. Even Sirius was confused a bit but saw how other volunteers wore the ensemble. Sirius then proceeded to tie the apron around him, use the weird, elastic loop and swept up his hair in a bun. The look would have been decent if he forgwent the hideous hair net but alas, the woman said it was necessary. Lucius did the same, not without struggles, however. He couldn’t manage to put all his hair up in a bun and quickly gave up. He let out a groan, fighting the urge to transfigure the loop into a ribbon instead but no. Can’t use magic here in this forsaken place.   
  
“Sod off, you can’t even put your hair up in a bun? Bet you can’t even brush your teeth by yourself,” Sirius berated. He quickly approached Lucius and stole away his loop.   
  
“Sit and let me do it, Malfoy,” He ground out, clearly having lost his patience. Lucius was on the verge of vocalizing his disagreement but he saw the muggles around looking at them, and it made Lucius begrudgingly obey the idiot. He didn’t want to cause a scene and have Black report his disobedience. He bit his lip when Black roughly pulled his hair and twisted it about but managed placed it all in a hopefully neat bun, unlike his own messy one.   
  
Hair up and covered, both walked to the woman who lead them to a busy kitchen. He saw a variety of people stirring pots, chopping up vegetables, storing other things away, cleaning plates and the floor, others exiting with full plates only for another to enter with a stack of empty ones. It made Lucius nauseous. He hoped he wasn’t about to be on his knees wiping floors.   
  
“You two will take Marlene and Jenny’s places, they have been here since 6 am so they need to be heading home,” the young woman said. The other women mentioned smiled and hugged one another, saying their goodbyes and good luck. Sirius waved at them while Lucius prayed Sirius would stab himself.   
  
“I call washing the potatoes while you dice them up, deal?” Sirius said, making his way behind the counter. Lucius sighed but nodded in agreement, what was the point? At least he’d be standing, and chopping the vegetables seemed simple enough. Both purebloods stood there staring at the chopping board and potatoes. Sirius spoke too soon. Fucker, Lucius thought to himself, Sirius didn’t know shite either, and here they stood seeming like imbeciles.   
  
“You going to ask someone for help or what?” Sirius said, crossing his arms. Lucius lifted a precise eyebrow up. Who did he think he was? An innate second year Hufflepuff?  
  
“No, I don’t need help. It isn’t difficult to cut up potatoes,” he said, proceeding to grab one and placed it on the wooden board, with his other hand, he lifted the knife. He decided splitting it in the middle was the best course of action. He gently starting cutting at it but it didn’t give way.  
  
“Put more force in it, Princess,” Sirius added in, not actually being of any help himself, he just stood there with his stupid shite eating grin.  
  
“If you know what to do, why are you not acting on it? Don’t look at me, I know I’m pretty, start chopping, Black,” Lucius said through gritted teeth. He wanted oh so badly to stab him. After washing the potatoes. Sirius started slow like Lucius but quickly outpaced him, getting through twice the amount of potatoes. No, Lucius thought to himself, he was excellent at potions, had joined the Slug Club, he wouldn’t be outdone by the lazy Gryffindor. Thus began the competition, they went through all the potatoes then were given carrots, celery, and zucchini to slice up since they were deemed enthusiastic. Sirius had gotten closer over time until his hips touched Lucius, who didn't notice until he felt himself being bumped. He glared at the other man who gave him an innocent look. He kept doing this until Lucius turned to demand he ceased his childish behaviour and at that moment, he felt the knife cut his finger. Lucius dropped it and looked at his finger that was bleeding and thought it didn’t hurt all that much, he did get crucioed countless times, the blood sent him in a panic.   
  
A million images flashed through his mind, all landing on blood dripping down the mouths of those he cared for, those he had wounded, his own. Blood running down their bodies until it all turned to black and rot. He left the building urgently, startling Black and a few others, he barely heard the man calm others down and said he’d help him clean the cut. It wasn’t even that severe to Lucius but his mind was far away. In a time not long ago. He found the bike still parked by the side of the road and sat on the curb by it, looking at his hand. ‘Weak, disgraceful, pathetic’ played in repeat in his mind, his father, Voldemort, Bellatrix, every Death Eater he’d known spoke to him all at once.  
  
Lucius didn’t react when he felt the hairnet removed nor when Black sat by him. The man didn’t speak at first but began whistling some vague tune Lucius didn’t recognize. The small wound stopped bleeding by the time Sirius spoke up.  
  
“We done here? I’m starving, ironically. Let’s find some restaurant to eat at. A fancy one, I am feeling steak and well-aged wine,” Sirius said, getting up and starting the bike. He looked at Lucius expectedly. Lucius was tempted to turn him down but his stomach decided to declare that it, indeed, was starving as well. Lucius blushed a bit when Sirius grinned.   
  
“Why are you doing this?” Lucius asked, knowing that Sirius typically would be in disgust to be near others of his kind, dark purebloods. Lucius did almost kill his Godson or at least aided in it.   
  
“I get to fuck with your life a bit, I’m not planning on becoming an Auror again. Harry said Draco was ready to turn a new leaf and asked that if I, by some miracle, could get you to be a beacon of what reimagining yourself could be or some shite like that. I doubt it but Moony is busy, along with everyone else, and, like I said, I’m bored and have a free schedule. Hard to find a job, not that I need one when most believed you to be a murderer,” He said, matter-of-factly. Lucius nodded, removing his apron, tossing it on the ground and went on the vehicle, wrapping his arms around the man and they sped off, albeit more slowly. Thinking how much Draco communicated with Harry and if he really wanted to show the wizarding world he was not just an ex-Death Eater.  
  
The restaurant was a French one, elegantly decorated with a pianist playing a soft tune. They did not make any reservations but Black convinced the waitress they didn't need one. In other words, he bribed her. They soon were led to a table by of the many windows, far back in. They were asked for what drinks they wanted and Lucius didn’t hesitate to ask if they could bring them their finest wine. Sirius did mention he wanted some earlier and Lucius really needed a drink. He knew he should stay off a drinking, having not ingested any liquid that didn’t contain alcohol in the last months since the war ended. Aside from just the glasses of water that helped wash down the rather sour hangover relief potions.   
  
The waitress returned and asked what they’d like to order. Sirius ordering the steak he’d mentioned earlier, and Lucius asked for a salad which earned him an eye roll from the other man.   
  
“Trying to keep that model thin appearance? Salads definitely help with that starved image,” Sirius said, eyeing Lucius up with an unimpressed look. He took a sip of the poured wine. Lucius couldn’t stop his already fragile self-confidence from being wounded by the jab.  
  
“Can you keep your trap shut? It’s my body, not yours, I’m at a healthy weight, maybe you’ve gained weight? That blazer looks tight on you,” Lucius remarked, pissed off. He hoped the food would arrive so he could eat quickly and leave.   
  
“Oye, don’t be rude to the hand that is about to feed you. Also, this is Harry’s blazer so yes, it is tight but I still look damn good in it, mind you. I am glad to have gained pounds after _that place._ But I eat, unlike you,” Sirius berated, leaning back in his chair with his arms crossed.   
  
“I order one salad, and you’re accusing me of being anorexic. I’m not doing this purposely, I just can’t fucking eat after the shite I’ve lived through,” Lucius hissed, trying to keep his voice down and levelled.   
  
“We all have lived through fucking nightmares, some more than others, stop pitying yourself, it doesn’t suit you, now fucking order a proper meal you twat," Sirius said, aggravated with Lucius. He didn’t talk after that, only thanking the waitress when she brought the food and gave Lucius a look of displeasure at the leafy meal. Lucius stared back at him and began to dig at his salad.  
  
“Is that all?” The waitress asked with mustered up enthusiasm. Sirius kept his eyes on the other man’s, grey on grey. Both didn’t speak, Lucius refusing to listen to Sirius. He wouldn’t break. How and what he ate was none of his concern. They did not pay attention to how the woman grew uncomfortable and quietly left the men. Sirius flicked him off in that obscene muggle gesture, and Lucius imitated it. Others around them gave the pair disapproving glances but nothing much. They didn’t speak, each draining their glasses until the bottle was empty like their plates. Sirius paid and left a decently sized tip, Lucius decided by how the waitress gleamed.   
  
Sirius didn’t seem too tipsy, unlike Lucius himself who felt his balance was off. A salad wasn’t the wisest choice but also fuck Sirius Black and his unwanted opinions.   
  
They reached the bike and instead of getting on, Sirius took out his wand and shrunk it down putting it in his pocket. Lucius turned his head, spotting to see if any muggles had seen that. They were alone in the steadily growing dark street. Lucius was about to speak until Sirius grabbed his arm and apparated them near his ancestral home. Lucius barely held himself up, fighting the urge to heave.   
  
“I prefer a warning,” Lucius mumbled, hand over his mouth.  
  
“I prefer a fun dinner, mate,” Sirius stated, walking to his place. Lucius could apparate outside his home, but he didn’t trust himself so he supposed he’d ask Sirius if he could use his floo. Following the man, he was about to enter when Sirius turned and gave a curious look.  
  
“I’m not inviting you in,” He said, covering up his doorframe. Lucius’ eyes narrowed.  
  
“Let me use your chimney to floo to my Manor.”  
  
“Apparate,” He stated before shutting the door on Lucius’ face. The blonde stood there flabbergasted. The man had the gulls to leave him outside his front door! Lucius kicked at the door, cursing Black. “Fuck you too,” he growled. With no other option, he apparated.  
As soon as he arrived outside the gates of his manor, he puked. It stung and he ruined his shoes. He trudged his way with the lost will to clean himself up until he entered and found his study. He took his wand out and spell away the mess. He saw letters on his desk and decided there was no better time to answer them. There wasn’t much, few people willing to contact the disgraced Malfoy. His day did improve when he saw letters from Severus and Draco.   
  
Severus wrote how he decided to stay as Headmaster. What needed to be fixed, new teachers for vacated positions. Preparing for those who were to do their 8th year to be declared a true Hogwarts graduate. Lucius knew Draco would return and was verified with Draco’s letter. The boy talked of having made a friendship of sorts with Potter and the Lovegood girl. Lucius recalled her, how could he forget, she was imprisoned his very basement. It was a pleasant thought to know she held no grudges towards Draco. And with Harry befriending him as well, maybe Draco could salvage his own reputation. Show he wasn’t his father’s son. He could be better. But Lucius did get a laugh from reading that he saw Severus and Narcissa snog. That must have killed the man, being caught by his godson.   
  
After answering back, not mentioning how his service was going, they knew what the court ordered for him but he wants to avoid details, he went to bed early. He had nothing else to do, not much business to attend to. A drastic change to how he used to live, always making a new business deal, visiting some politicians office, shopping, checking personally on Draco. But knew he should give the boy distance now, let him find himself without his parents hovering over him. And few wanted to still be associated with the Malfoy name.   
  
That night was one of the worse he’d had in a long while, twisting in his sheets, clawing at his own body, he nearly suffocated in his own spit and vomit several times. Stomach upset. The nightmares were worse. He was in the streets of London, running from a black beast, above him were several Deatheaters laughing at him, shooting spells, he managed to lose them all in an alley only to find Draco bleeding to death.  
  
“Your fault, you lied, I hate you,” Draco said before he stopped breathing. Lucius shook him, tried to heal his wounds but nothing worked and all of a sudden his surrounding shifted to his cell from Azkaban. Draco gone from his arms and instead Nagini was there, hissing at him. He backed off, turning to bars and yelling for help. In return he heard others jeer at him, cursing him, shouting vulgar insults. He gave up on sleep half way through the night. Shivering, he left his bed and found his mother’s room. Or was once it, it was now a guest room but Lucius recalled how she laid there in bed dying when he was merely eight. Father had gotten rid of all photos of her, stripped the manor of all proof of her having ever lived here. Only Lucius with her light grey eyes was left behind. He broke down, knowing no one was there to judge him. It usually helped but not tonight. He stayed up, showered when the sun was rising and ate a light breakfast consisting of just a half a bagel and jam with tea. He may have added a bit of whiskey in it.  
  
He hoped since it was now Saturday, he was off for the day. He hadn’t done much in terms of what he was meant to do but Sirius was draining and clearly not fit for his role. Lucius still wondered why Sirius of all people had to be involved. His body felt heavy, eyes blurry and unfocused. Lucius went outside, hoping fresh air would give him a bit of vigour. He could see how his garden was healing, see the peacocks, pet the one that bit the idiot yesterday.   
  
The day was slow and uneventful and soon the weekend passed and Monday rolled in. You’d think a person would feel ready to face the upcoming week but Lucius still felt like death itself. He arrived at Sirius’ house, was greeted by Kreacher who said his horrid master was showering and would be done, though he muttered how he wished he slipped and banged his head. Lucius blinked at the elf, grateful Dobby never actually attempted murder. The fucker did die though, he thought, delighted when he learned the news after things settled down. He would not forgive his insolence. Oh, Merlin, he was really a prat, he thought to himself, the elf saved Potter.  
  
“Oye, you’re here early, too early. Leave,” Sirius said. Lucius turned towards him, seeing the other man in just a towel, body still dripping from his shower. He had a fine body, Lucius thought. Toned and lean.   
  
“See something you like,” Sirius joked, raising an eyebrow. Lucius blushed at that.  
  
“No. Go dress, Sirius. We shouldn’t waste time,” He said, averting his eyes. It has been a while since he could appreciate the naked body of another man. It was just a misfortune that the current one was that of Sirius. He heard the man scoff but walk off. Kreacher apologized for his master’s indecency. Lucius nodded, attempting to get the image out of his mind. Sirius soon came back down dressed and told him they were heading to Hogwarts.  
  
“You are going to be helping Hagrid out, said he needed an extra hand. I volunteered for you. Aren’t you happy? I know you two are close. Especially after Buckbeak. Who is, by the way, there now,” Sirius said, cheerfully.   
  
“Fucking grand,” Lucius muttered.   
  
“What was that?” Sirius asked while putting on a coat. Tossing one to Lucius, who realized that he’d left it here last time.   
  
“I said I’m ecstatic,” he replied, feeling anything but.   
  
When they arrived at Hogwarts, they were greeted by Hagrid and Severus. No, that was a lie. Severus took one look at Sirius and immediately left.  
  
“He’s actually friendly once he likes you,” Hagrid commented, most likely having befriended Severus. It would make sense to mend bridges but he clearly wasn’t ready to be anywhere near Sirius.  
  
“Eh, fuck him. I’m not a student or a staff member so who cares. Anywho, I brought you a little helper, big man.” Sirius said, smirking. Hagrid swept in and stole a hug from Sirius, startling the shorter man. Hagrid backed off and gave Lucius a quick glance.  
  
“Don’t worry, he won’t do anything funny. He has been ordered to serve the community as punishment and reformation. Whatever that meant, and Harry insisted I help him. Love the brat,” Sirius said. Hagrid laughed and told them to follow. The walk was a long one and the two friends chatted, with the blonde behind them walking in silence. Lucius was tempted to sneak off and find Severus so he could complain about the situation. But Severus was a busy man and a hero now. Lucius felt he shouldn’t waste his time.   
  
“Buckbeak! How are you, buddy,” Sirius exclaimed petting the creature when they arrived at the pasture it was laying in. Lucius recalled the hippogriff, the one that clawed at Draco in his third year. Lucius had attempted to have it executed. Clearly failed at it by the way the beast licked at Sirius and cooed when Hagrid petted its head.  
  
“Now, don’t be spooked, Bucky, but Mr Malfoy here is going to give you a brushing. He will be on his best behaviour,” Hagrid spoke, conforting ‘Buckbeak’. He then left to feed other creatures and told Sirius to keep an eye on him. Lucius shook his head and grabbed the offensive brush meant to clean the creature. It growled with every step Lucius took towards it.  
  
“You knows he doesn’t like you,” Sirius stated matter of factly, not that it helped. Lucius knew it wasn’t pleased with his presence. A complete moron could tell.  
  
“What am I meant to do with that tidbit? Tell it I’m sorry for trying to have its head chopped off?” Lucius spat out, unnerved by the beast’s talons. They could easily tear at him.   
  
“Wouldn’t hurt to try,” Sirius mumbled.   
  
“Fine, sorry you dumb beast for attempting to have your head removed,” Lucius said, giving the creature a disdainful look. He would soon regret it because Buckbeak turned around and kicked Lucius to the ground. Likely sensing the rage radiating off Malfoy.   
  
Lucius saw stars, chest in pure agony, brush knocked out of his hand. He laid on the earth groaning while he heard Sirius laughing his arse off at his misfortune. Once he recovered, with one hand over his tender chest, gripping his coat, he took out his wand and pointed it to the beast.  
  
“Why you foul thing, you’ll pay,” Lucius said with gritted teeth. He wanted to curse the thing into oblivion.  
  
“I wouldn’t threaten him,” Sirius warned. And with good reason, because Buckbeak plucked the wand right out of his hand and flew off into the direction of the Forbidden Forest.  
“Oh for Merlin's sake,” Lucius groaned, sagging his shoulders.  
  
“I told you so ” Sirius said, coming up close to Lucius. He had a look of amusement mixed in with pity.   
  
“Oh, really? I must have not heard.” Lucius said, venomous sarcasm dripping from his voice. He was so close to clogging the handsome man.  
  
“Too bad, would have saved you the time explaining this to- Oh, look. It’s Hagrid.” Sirius chirped, smiling when Hagrid asked where his friend went. Sirius explained the event with too much glee, irritating Lucius. Hagrid asked if Buckbeak was injured and Sirius responded with a no and said the blonde most likely had a broken rib, which Lucius didn’t disagree with. Hagrid said he’d find Buckbeak and the wand and would return it to him. In the meantime they headed to the nurse’s office.  
  
“Must we enter the school?” Lucius asked, hating every moment on the school grounds. This is where it ended, where children feared their lives would end. It turned his stomach.   
  
“You okay, Malfoy? You’re looking a little pale there.” Sirius said, with actual concern from how he didn’t joke. Lucius nodded his head.  
  
“It won’t be too far, you can hold on a bit longer.” He said, attempting to reassure the blonde. They walked the pathway to the castle's entrance and saw no one. They kept going until they made it to the hospital wing. Madam Pomfrey organizing her collection of healing potions and ointments. She turned and was startled by their sudden appearance.  
  
“Lucius here got rear-ended by Buckbeak,” Sirius stated, taking a seat on one of the beds. The medi-witch guided Lucius to another bed, asking for him to remove his coat and dress shirt. Lucius hesitated, not comfortable with them seeing how emancipated his body was. But his ribs ached and knew she wouldn’t judge too harshly. She had tended to Severus in his youth and after Nagini’s bite and many other wizards and witches. When he finally was shirtless, Madam Pomfrey cast a spell to see what was bruised or broken. She diagnosed him with bruised ribs, nothing shattered. Sirius didn’t take his eyes off him but neither made a joke. She handed over an ointment for him to rub on his chest that would ease the pain. He thanked her and dressed and left, Sirius not far behind.   
  
“You can’t let it kill you,” Sirius said, with a cryptic look. Lucius was a bit disturbed.  
  
“You clearly didn’t hear Pomfrey, I am not in a critical state,” Lucius stated. Sirius reached for his arm and pulled him close.  
  
“You can’t let the past kill you, I meant. You have to live, for Draco and to actually learn what it is to be a decent wizard,” he said, letting go and walking past him.  
They saw Hagrid waving them down with the blonde’s wand in hand. He passed it over to Lucius and said he rather have Lucius feeding the owls for now. No one made a counter-argument. An hour or so later and many pecks to his hand, Lucius was done and exhausted.   
  
“Let’s head to Gryffindor tower, I want to see if it’s changed,” Sirius asked, already making his way there. Lucius would have preferred they just head to their respective homes but was curious. The Fat Lady's portrait refused to let Lucius enter but Sirius sweet-talked her into letting him in for just a while. Lucius had to admit the common room of the dreaded house looked cosy if not a bit too bright with all the red and yellow. The couch was delightfully soft and plush. Lucius moaned, leaning into the cushions he plopped himself on.   
  
“Careful, someone might think we are having sex,” Sirius joked, snickering when Lucius kicked him.  
  
“Can you sit in silence for a moment?” Lucius said, wanting to just take a quick nap. Sirius laughed and got up, saying he wanted to check his old room. No students were here. Though soon enough it’d be occupied. Lucius didn’t take notice, he was falling asleep. Much needed rest catching up to him.  
“Lucius, wake up!” He heard someone shout distantly. His nightmare having a tight clasp on him. Hogwarts was burning in it and so was Draco and all the children of his year. He cried out, not having his wand on him, knowing Voldemort had taken it away. He gasped, finally waking up when he felt cold water hit his face.  
  
“Fuck, you’re awake, I heard you crying out bloody murder in your sleep,” Sirius said, hovering over the blonde. When Lucius regained his breath, he spoke out.  
  
“Burning, Draco was trapped, Hogwarts crumbling, smoke, pain,” he panted out. Sirius placed a hand over his back and rubbed circles into it. It oddly helped Lucius calm down.   
  
“I had nightmares when I got out, had less over time, only stopped when Harry defeated him. But I still have them when I feel lost, felt guilty and stupid,” Sirius said with an even voice, he sat down by Lucius, taking off his hand. Lucius was saddened by that.  
  
“I can’t eat because of what they did, I did, I can’t sleep, living is agonising,” Lucius confessed, eyes tearing up.   
  
“You’re a real bastard but you’re not evil, I used to think so but no true evil person would be perturbed by their past actions, attempt to mend them. Or crying,” he said, adding in the last part while handing over a handkerchief to the blonde. He wiped at the tears that had slipped down his pale, sunken face. He thanked Sirius, and the dark-haired man decided they should head home.   
  
Lucius sat on his cold, lonely bed, upset he’d shown such weakness in front of the other man but yet he felt relief in having confessed his problems, even if only a little. And solace, knowing Sirius, a man who refused to follow the path his parents laid for him, that ended the life of his younger brother, who was sent away for falsely accused crimes, struggled too. But why would he feel guilty? He never tortured others, unless his time as a school bully ate at him. Perhaps. Deciding to not forgo another meal, he went to his study, sent a letter, asking Draco if they could get dinner together. A reply came by an hour later, agreeing. He smiled at that.   
  
As the weeks passed by, they had returned to the soup kitchen and to Hogwarts several times. Lucius had made a strange truce with Buckbeak and by the end, the creature would rub its head in his chest, as if apologizing. Lucius would never admit that he grew fond of it. And if anyone noticed the exquisite fish Buckbeak ate while Lucius left to help Hagrid on another chore, it was left uncommented. Severus would come to see Lucius labour, grinning when no one was looking until Sirius made an idiotic joke and earned an eye roll and hex. The two childhood enemies still insulted each other but it could easily be seen as two old friends bickering. Or that was what Lupin mentioned one day, getting his classroom set up with the aid of Lucius, having been assigned the DADA professor. Sirius and Severus gave him such scolding glares, Lupin quickly backtracked that comment.   
  
On one occasion, Sirius and Lucius decided to help replenish Pomfrey’s potion supply much to Severus dismay, Lucius calmed him down by saying he’d restock the materials, even add some rare items. That pleased Severus. The two of them made a competition of it, but it quickly changed to who caould make higher level potions faster, the difficulty rising over time until one of them, Sirius if you asked Lucius, mixed the wrong amount of toad legs and caused a mini explosion. A promise of buying new cauldrons, cleaning the room, and being banned from it afterwards left the pair in hysterical laughter. Severus was definitely not amused.   
  
Lucius had met up after the day’s duties with either his son or ex-wife. Draco brought the Lovegood girl, Luna over once. By the time they left, Lucius suspected that was Draco's way of saying he was dating the girl. If this had occurred years ago, Lucius would be appalled but now? Draco seemed happy and that was all that mattered. He crossed the line when invited for lunch by Harry Potter himself along with his girlfriend at the Potter Manor. Draco had to beg for him to go, planning on taking Luna. He said Sirius had told Harry Lucius was ‘on the right path of being less of an arse, but still arrogantly posh.’ In other words, he wasn’t going all pureblood supremacist.  
  
The lunch was awkward until Sirius showed up. He hugged the couple and Luna. Saying hello to ‘mini Lucius’ and the elder one. Lucius rolled his eyes but greeted the man. Sirius told of how Edward or Teddy was growing and had a fondness for making his hair blue. The child had inherited his mother's Metamorphmagus abilities. Harry told of his training as an Auror, declaring he wasn’t intending to return to Hogwarts along with Ron Weasely. Draco spoke up and confessed to his father that he also planned to take apprenticeship under Severus to become the next potions professor. Lucius didn’t understand why he wanted to do that, he didn’t need to work, but Draco seemed eager and Luna was showing her support.   
  
Lucius didn’t realise how he could jest with Sirius easily, enjoying the man’s company over the time spent together and when the last day, the assigned month finally ending, though they could easily add more. And he entered the ministry to see his final court session. He was declared a ‘reformed’ man, most likely to do with Severus and Harry vouching for him. Sirius had added his own positive words. Lucius was declared fit for society and no longer under the eye of the law. If he stuck by it, of course. He would, his criminal days were long over.   
  
He went to eat out with Narcissa, Severus, and Draco as a celebration. Him giving his blessings to Severus should the day come he asked for his ex-wife's hand in marriage. Draco busted out laughing while Cissy blushed and Severus threatened him.  
  
“And you, young man?” Lucius asked, directing the question at Draco who grew quiet.  
  
“I don’t know, I want to just finish my last, last year and take my time. I rather not rush into things,” Draco said, firm with his words. Everyone nodded. Lucius had even eaten his meal in full, no alcohol. He felt much healthier and alive. He wouldn’t fully admit it was because of a certain Lord pressuring him to eat more. But it was, it truly was and he was grateful. The nightmares didn’t end though, not taking a break any night of the week. But Lucius wouldn’t let the images haunt his days.   
  
  


  
Lucius walked down Diagon Alley, no destination in mind, he glanced at the shops, thinking of buying a new book, one of those raunchy romance novels he secretly coveted. While in the quaint bookstore, he saw a section called ‘muggle finds’, a bookshelf full of muggle books. Lucius wouldn’t be caught searching those books but one with the cover of a man with dark hair beckoned to him. The man on the cover reminded him of Sirius. Lucius hadn’t seen him in a while, days turning into a week, reaching two now. He missed him. He’d even grown fond of the motorcycle rides. Sirius having said it could fly but never demonstrated. When he heard the store owner approach, Lucius quickly placed the book down. Saying he was just looking around. He left with a book on how to care for hippogriffs and a potion ingredients book. Leaving behind the muggle book.    
  
The schooling year had started and now, he spent even less time with his son. Received no letter, not that he should expect any. It was amusing how you’d think a child's mother would be called the ‘mothering hen’ but Lucius was the one always making sure Draco had all he needed, coddled the boy too much if you asked anyone else.    
  
When he returned home, he entered his study and took out a paper and quill. He decided to write Sirius. Wanting to know if Lucius could come over to visit, and have a drink or two. He owled the letter away and waited for a reply. It didn’t come that same day, nor the next or the day after that. Lucius felt incredibly idiotic. Like a child being rejected by their first crush. Not that he had one on Sirius, no. He was a grown man. But he ached, wanting desperately to see the other man, to get a laugh or an eye roll. To feel…...safe. Lucius blinked at that. Safe? No, he must have mistaken it with…... lust. Yes, Sirius was a handsome man. Charming, funny, entertaining, suave, kind, fuck, no. Sexy was a better word, right? He couldn’t forget his comforting words that day in the Gryffindor tower nor any small gestures he gave Lucius when they were truly alone, asking if he slept well, ate. If he did anything fun or relaxing. It was almost like he was a friend checking in. Not that Severus didn’t do the same but it was just different, with Severus it was less direct, no touches, no smiles that made his stomach grow butterflies. Fuck. He did like Sirius. Sod it. He prayed to any and all Gods and Goddesses that existed that Sirius fucking Black would send him a reply agreeing.    
  
And when the next morning arrived, Cherri, the little house elf handed him a letter from Black. He hastily tore it open, throwing decorum out the window. Sirius had apologised, saying Kreacher had not been giving him letters, again, and that he only now found his and agreed. Lucius blinked at the elegantly written words. And hugged the elf, nearly giving her a heart attack, he gave her coin and told her she could buy herself a treat. She didn’t hesitate to leave. Lucius scarfed down his breakfast, hoping the food would calm his nerves. It didn't, he was simply too giddy to see the other man. But before flooing, he took a deep breath and told himself to show restraint.   
  
When he arrived, the home was quiet as usual, Kreacher instantly popping by to greet him. The elf said his master was in his sitting room. Lucius marched over there to see Sirius sitting with two glasses, one in hand, another on the table in front of the couch.    
  
“Hello,” Lucius said, his carefully planned words all but forgotten when darker haired man smirked at him.   
  
“Miss me?” Sirius asked, laughing right before he took a sip.   
  
“If I said I missed you so bloody much, I wanted to snog you, would you believe me?” Lucius asked, not daring to move.   
  
“Prove it,” Sirius said. It was all the permission Lucius needed to pounce the man, pressing his lips to the other.    
  


Kreacher recalled the day he met his first mistress and master, how he was trained and beaten to be loyal. But Kreacher understood, oh yes he did. He took his role as servant of The Most Noble And Ancient House Of Black seriously. He would never falter in his loyalty, would never purposely disobey. No, Kreacher would serve with all his might and serve well. If not, he’d gleefully take any punishment that came his way. He knew he’d deserve it. And when Sirius Black came into the world, Kreacher had no true opinions on the infant, aside from not liking his cries, then Regulus Black arrived, he was much quieter. Kreacher liked him instantly and Kreacher knew he was a good apple. Always obedient and polite, unlike Sirius who was anything but. No, Kreacher was not fond of that boy who would later turn his back on the family. Kreacher grew angry at how his mistress secretly wept or how the house grew saddened. Sirius was selfish and mean. And nasty. And was that Master Lucius? Kreacher was confused.    
  
The two of them were naked, he could hear Lucius moan, was he in pain, Kreacher thought. But why did he kiss his icky master like a person should do to their partner? Why did master Sirius coat his fingers in a gooey substance? Kreacher was disturbed by also curious. Lucius didn’t tell him to stop. What made things worse was when his master inserted his fingers into Lucius anal cavity. Kreacher couldn’t understand humans at times. So odd in their rituals. Lucius asked for more and Kreacher thought he meant more fingers but Sirius took them out. And instead coated his foul cock with the same gooey substance and...Oh no, Kreacher thought! He put it in Lucius who groaned, he most definitely was in pain! Sirius was cruel, how could he harm the man who was eager to visit him?    
  
“Kreacher! Leave now or I’ll set you free!” he heard his master yell, sweat all over him. Kreacher didn’t want to continue witnessing this vulgar behaviour.   
  


“Did he, how long was he there?” Lucius asked, moaning when Sirius slowly thrust into him.   
  
“Don’t think about it, I’ll talk to him later about privacy,” Sirius grunted out, teeth at Lucius shoulders. Lucius groaned in pleasure when he bit down. He asked for more, for Sirius to go harder. He needed to feel the man above him, needed his body, needed the pain and pleasure. He wanted Sirius to use him. To leave him with a satisfying ache.   
  
Sirius picked up his pace, and Lucius didn’t stop himself from letting out his moans and pants. Sirius needed even need to touch his cock before he had Lucius cumming. The darker haired man not far from his release. Lucius felt the warm, cum in him and smiled.    
  
“You know, you can still make me a sandwich,” Sirius said, with a shite eating grin. Lucius stared at him and swiftly threw him off.   
  
“Fuck you, Black.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope it was a decent read! AND HA! Hope the short Kreacher POV was nice touch~


End file.
